the sun has set on our first official day of fall. or is it the last day of summer? given that it's the official transition point, it's always hard to say - are we saying goodbye to a friend we all really really love and know we won't see for (what feels like) entirely too long? or are we welcoming back a friend who's been out of our periphery for an eternity? are we sulking in putting away the shorts and swimsuits, or ecstatic for hoodies and sweatpants? at what point do we say to ourselves, this isn't so much about goodbye and hello, but about balancing an equal commitment between the joys that both offer? when does a good thing become too much?
those are a lot of questions, and certainly not any that I expect an answer for, but it brings me to my point, and my current focus - finding balance. it's such an interesting concept, and one that I've personally been struggling with in light of recent life changes. it felt so so great to give up a job where the time spent wasn't my own, and I ended up having a ton of time that I didn't have to commit to filling with 'work'. so I took that time, and I laid in the sun, and I took yoga class and taught yoga class and my tan and my practice were never better. but I've reached a point where the lack of routine, where not having something to focus on daily, has made me feel lethargic and unaccomplished. and now I'm struggling to fill my uncommitted time because I don't have as much sun and practice, and 'work' seems like a friend I haven't called in too long. my life was very very easy. now it's taking more effort to bring me to a place where I enjoy work because of the sense of ease I receive when I'm not doing the work.
when we become unbalanced, it's easy to let ourselves slip into the mindset that we'll figure it out later. and we begin to slide down the rabbit hole of tomorrow and tomorrow and procrastination becomes the perpetuator of more dis-ease. balance is such a necessity because it keeps us mentally in check with what is serving us and what isn't. and at times, so so tricky to accomplish, because what feels right is the farthest thing from what is right.
the sage refers to these two aspects as sukham (comfort/ease) and sthira (stability/effort). it is in the practicing of both, with equal, shared responsibility, we bring ourselves closer to the ability to move with grace through the world - efforting when necessary, and taking our ease when earned.
Patanjali Yoga Sutra 2.46
asana is achieved when you find ease in the effort